Maybe it's because the 4 and a half years I've been here in our little apartment is the longest I've ever lived ANYWHERE. I feel like I'm at home, and I can't remember another time in my life that I have ever felt that way. I just barely started allowing myself to settle in and make this place homey about a year ago....and now I have to let it go, I feel stupid for letting my guard down. And now I have to start all over trying to feel at home in a new place. At least this will be OUR home....belonging to us, and I really have no reason to fear moving again......maybe the "home" feeling will come sooner......I doubt it.
On a side note about this move....and this is not helping my stress level.....my dogs and my cat. Thanks to my landlords (I seriously almost typed something else, but i'll keep it "G" rated) my furry babies had to move ahead of us. They're at the house already, but my in-laws havn't moved out yet. And since my in-laws are sooooo very anti-pet they have to be outside 24/7. I know, I know, big deal Rose, the animals are outside....but yes to me it is a big deal. all 3 of them are indoor only pets. My little dog is 3lbs at best and my big dog is **maybe** 10lbs. They havn't been outside since I brought them home at 6 weeks old. They're frightened and I KNOW my chiihuahua is freazing her butt off...but its only a few weeks, they'll be OK. The cat is an indoor only cat, she is also very small for an adult cat....but she's a cat and resorsful, she'll be OK.....but she's OUTSIDE and a CAT...she could very well take off......or get knocked up by a roaving Tom......yarg. All of this is small stuff....the biggest issue, I miss them....a lot.
Anyways.....end whining rant.
Jan 7, 2009 evening
Things have quieted down, i feel safe enough to sit by the window and write by the moonlight now. There is a small group of humans trying to think of a decent peace offering to give the alien race, in hopes of peace and assimilation. I think I may join them. The rest of the humans are angry with this group though, calling them traitors and terrorists, acting violently toward them and creating a rift between our own people. Honestly I don't know who to be more afraid of....the aliens or the humans. I'm considering running away by cover of night, maybe I can find an area with little inhabitation, somewhere the aliens have no real interest in. The only thing stopping me is the fear of having to find a decent hiding place at sunrise everday during my travels...more later.....I need my rest......everyday requires all the strength I can muster....both mentally and physically.
I understand the moving thing. I hate to move, all the packing and taking things down, it's like you are putting your life away only to start all over again somewhere new. Even if it's something you want, it still feels like starting over and for me that is hard. I don't like change very much. I am so sorry to hear about your babies, too.
ReplyDeleteI love your alien story, by the way.